Thentis. City of Blackwine.. City of hope.. city of him.

Looks like we are heading home. Well to his home, that of my Master. He wants him and Lolita's child to be born under the roof he too was born under. Under the same stars that he came into the world under. He wants to go home. I don't blame him. Home is where you make it.. I can go anywhere with him and be happy. I will follow him to the moons and back if necessary. Since our separation I often find it hard to be away from him for any amount of time for very long. I am glad this time that he is taking us with him. He has told me some things that I find surprising but amusing as well. I can't wait for Derra to find out. It's going to be funny the expression on her face when she realizes what happened.

I love my Master.. one can never know the depth of love I have for this man. I know Derra loves him.. but not like I do.. my Master and I know things about each other just from a glance.. its like we are connected by more then the heart at times.. he is my compass, my north star, my reason for living.. just yesterday he reminded me of this..

 

 

( To be Continued )



His.

I spent the morning with my Master a few hands back and well..the intensity of his need for me had not changed one bit in 20 vars. You could see it in his eyes while he used me. Hear it in his words as he pounded home his Mastery of me.. I am still his. I am his slave. I will never belong to another like I do him. When he finally takes his journey to the city of dust I will walk hand and hand with him into the flames. Unlike when I was the slave of Tarm.. I know I would not survive the death of Mallick Rel Tarnsman of Thentis. He is under my skin, in my heart and the marrow of my bones. Everything I am.. is his. He is a part of every inch of me. Every breath I take is because he allows it. I never thought I could love like I do him. Don't get me wrong.. I love Tarm. He was my world, he broke down every wall and fence and barrier I had and placed himself within the valves of my heart so deep it beat for him. But in the end things had changed. He sold me.. he sent me away and he scared me for life. When he returned for me we were both distant and scarred of what the other would do or say.. and just when we were on the right track he was dead. He freed me in his last will and testament. A last barb to a damaged heart. It was Mallick that found the me within the shell. It was him that coaxed the slave girl I am from the ashes of that pyre. He found me.. living free and suffering and made of me a slave.. his slave. I bent and molded and shaped me to his liking.. and in the end.. the love I felt for him overcame all. He might not Love me in the traditional sense.. perhaps it is more of an obsession he holds of me.. but it is intense.. and total and in the end.. it makes me his. I am glad he makes it so. I have not spent much time with him since that day... and I am tied up in knots without him. Perhaps tonight I will beg an Inn guard to truss me up and lay me at the foot of his couch for his enjoyment when he gets there...

 



Time long gone and forgotten... looking to the future.

It has been so long.. no years since I have had need to pen words in this book. I take that back.. I had a need.. but I didnt have the presence of mind or the drive to do so. I was not inspired.. I was a broken shell of a slave living on borrowed breath and time. Allll those years my Master had left me in Ar to be watched over by the scribe and his brood.. Master Zeb and his tavern, Madeline the slave and my friend, all of them.. gone. One by one until I was left in the hands of an angry city on the verge of a civil war. I had no idea if my Master still lived much less wanted me any longer. As the years and time went by, I served, I fucked, I was rented and used. I was threatened with death and freedom and so much else just like before.. and when I for real had grabbed the proverbial knife, and was about to slice the rope and just give up.. a shadow showed itself at the door of my kennel. Only the silhouette of the man was visible before the bright bright light that shined behind him. More then 20 years.. and I knew in an instant who that shadow belonged to. It was Him. It was my Master... Mallick Rel. I thought for sure I had been dreaming, but I threw myself at his feet at the inside of the door and wept. He turned and walked away and I heard him speak to the man at the end of the hall, heard the exchange of coin change hands and then he was gone. He did not take me then. It was three days later I was taken from my kennel. Washed and given a clean though plain yellow camisk and sent to the tarn cots with a perfect stranger. I was scared. Why would he spend coin to send me to another? I was hooded and strapped to the saddle of this man's bird and flown from Ar like a bad habit. Days.. it took days before I was released from the saddle a final time and unhooded near a building near a beach. So we were near Thassa.. the crashing waves... they were like music.. but I was not yet able to truly appreciate them at that moment. Taken by the bicep I was dragged into the inn and left in a room, told to kneel by the door and wait. Wait I did... for hours more.. when all of a sudden.. I was called for and taken from the room. I had an idea what was going down before they came for me.. but I was not sure. I was sent to the baths.. I was bathed and oiled and made pretty by other women. I was perfumed and wrapped in bangles and small delicate chains and slave bells and told to return to the room. When I opened the door.. there he was, lounging on a chaise.. with a woman close by on another and they were eating.. I froze for a moment and was soon on my feet making a run for the man who owned me heart, mind, body, and soul. I did not care for the punishment.. I didn't care what would happen.. I took a running start and threw myself onto him and kisses him like I had imagined sooo many times while I was away from him. OOh kings it was like heaven. I am soo very glad to be back at the feet of my Master.. I am so very glad he knows and he never gave up on his promise to come back for me.. I am so very glad I am his.. and in some small way... he is mine too. I love him.

Did I mention the companion... well she is a real peach. She is however for another entry.



The fountain and the raven

There has been nothing for so long. The city finally figured it out and has found it in it's best interest to claim my neck until they can some how make contact with he who owns me. I say good luck. I have been all over Gor and have made many a connection durning the time of my freedom and none of those people have seen my owner. Perhaps he has been injured.. or worse? I may never know. Regardless of this situation I find myself in, I miss him, however the scribe I miss even more. I wander now and then to the gardens that He and Madeline and I used to frequent, to relax by the fountain, to pick flowers for bouquets, other reasons I wont get into here. But on one of those recent endeavors I came across a man. No, I have not bedded down with him, he hasn't even kissed me or touched me in any overt sexual way. We have had words, and he stimulates my mind, and that I find more then physical beauty has a physical effect on me in a strange way. This man, not super attractive, except maybe in sleep when he looks almost innocent and definitely passive, does not pussy foot around a inquiry. He is blunt, and shrewd from what I have seen of him, and as much as I am sure it may scream danger and maybe even death, I find myself drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Is it wrong that I may want him so soon after the city has taken claim of me. They say if Mallick shows they will hand me over no problem, what if I don't want to be here when he does?

Scraps of Parchment 3

I was taken to Thentis. He, my Master thought it would be nice to show me what it is he does when he is gone for so long. I was content to be taken instead of left behind but I was left alone all the of the time I was there. Once or twice I was taken for a tarn ride over the mountain range it was beautiful. I can see why he loves his city but I am not that interested in it. Sure I was given blackwine, thick and syrupy caffinated goodness that it is.. and I enjoyed it, but that was only twice and it was to warm me after the tarn flights. I was up all night on those nights with nothing to do but think. Once upon a time I was rented by a paga den owner from Mallick to attract attention to his den. In that service I was given to spending long periods of time with The Scribe and Madeline. The Scribe and I have been friends for many many en'vars and have on more then one occasion settled into quiet contemplation in sprawl on the grass in a park or at the den. There has never been the call for sex and violence between me and the scribe. He was safe in the way that I knew I would not be violated upon arrival at his feet. I cared for him like he was a great friend, because he was. More often then not we would talk about random and normal stuff like I would speak to my other friends. About my Master, about his slave who was also my friend... The Scribe I miss. He became sick just before I left for Thentis. Tale being told he abandoned his slave and just vanished. Madeline now belongs to the woman who mothered one of the scribes sons so long ago. Catastrophe. A physician here in Ar. I have seen her since.. she is different, wounded in some way that will probabally never change. I heard tale of a certain floppy haired Scribe returning to Ar. I wonder of my friend has returned with him....

Scraps of Parchment 2

I spent one night in the collar of Zeb Bronson. I went to the den where I sat in a corner and was pissed off like no other. That night I went to my kennel and decided I would not let the loss of Mallick bother me. I woke in the morning and went to the market and purchased foods for a nice breakfast. I cooked for him. It was a large breakfast with eggs and bacon and toast with fresh fruit, and juice and jam for the toast. He was pleased. He was enjoying the breakfast.. but mostly ignoring me like usual when out of no where... in walks my former owner. In full regalia like he just walked in from some military parade. Instantly tears came to my eyes. I could not believe I was seeing him after all this time. My Master.. He watched me. While speaking to Zeb he watched me a moment but did not call me to him. That was when he noticed my collar.. he was not pleased. He called me to serve him breakfast. I went and got him a platter.. it was alot of confusion after that but in the end I left with him. I went to the metal smith and he replaced my old collar after some minor repairs. Its tighter on my neck then before.. but Im ok with that. That night I slept at Smoke and Mirrors for the first time in a long while. He did not use me. He kissed me and sent me to the mat. He did not even chain me. But he did tell me that he would not be traveling as often.. but his work in Ar would be keeping him busy most days but I would see him more often. I havent seen him since but he has left me notes and reminders that he cares. The Scribe... I saw him at the arena the next night after the fiasco with the collar. He had an odd look on his face when he looked at me as I came into view at the tunnels end. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head when I knelt at the bottom seat of the stands and lowered myself to the floor. He called my name and I looked up at him and he wore a frown. I did know why. Sooner rather then later however I ended up at his side. He pulled me closer.. eventally shifting me so that I was in a better positon at his side. His fingers in my hair.. my cheek to his leg. The semblance of control. I think he gets it. For a few moments I felt calm. Then something happened with Madeline. She started squirming and I mentally paniced. I didnt know why. It happened when I got closer and when he closed his legs around her. I thought she was over the issues with being restrained.. I suppose the large arena with all the people around spooked her. I just pray it wasnt me so close that caused it. When He, Mads and I parted ways.. he told me to come to Stylus before I headed back to the Smoke and Mirrors... I had buisness with someone who had rented me back when I was in Zeb's hands so he told me to come the next day. I suppose I should do that...

a piece of parchment

( Random scraps of parchement stuffed into her satchel until she stuffs them in her journal ) Madeline has my book, I will have her keep it, maybe to keep it away from him. He, he sent me to the metal smith and had my collar removed and replaced with a collar of a den slave. One thing I never wanted to be again was a paga slave. Billboard, sure.. paga whore.. no. Perhaps I will beg for freedom. Mallick.. he came to me and said it would be different. Then Zeb over stepped the line. Maybe it was to force Mallick's hand, maybe it was his greediness.. who knows. Has not changed a fucking thing. I went to the den last night like always.. and was ignored... like always. I used to care.. now I am just a shell. Im so disenchanted by the whole idea that things could of been different. IM a puppet.. hollow and dangling from the strings that control me.. or in this case.. the strings that leave me to hang in a limbo I can not understand. The Scribe will be furious I think, God in heaven knows I am.