I had left Ar in the guise of a man two nights before I came upon the man in his camp late at night. So far my guise is safe, but I think he has become suspicious of my gender as well as my intentions of being there. The man's name is Edhrahil... its a name that reminds me of home. The highlands of Scotland. Lord how I wish I could just find a slaver with a vessel to take me home. It is so hard to wander and pretend. I can not be a free woman in the sence of veils and robes and propriety forever.. It's just against all I have been taught since I was brought here. The man has said we, being those in his camp, should bathe less we attrack sleen or thalarion. I am writing in my book until the others return so I can bathe alone and keep my tidbits out of the view of prying eyes. It seams however this gentleman does not think it prudent that I bathe alone... there has to be some way I can convince him otherwise.

     I still feel him sometimes when I am lingering between sleep and awake. He speaks to me in soft whispers and I can't help but cry. I need a Master like him. It has been so long since I have known the hand of a stern Master like him. I know now it is true. Once you are a slave... being free is never easy. You have known passion and love like no other... and I think even if in your freedom you take a companion... you long to be his slave. I dont know... I just miss him some much it kills me. I'd like to think that its true.. that when  he died he went to heaven.. not some dusty city... and then when I pass... I will see him in the light... I need to be owned....