Sunday, January 20, 2008

memories...

     Half of me.. wants to forget about you..

the other half thinks that is the worst thing that I can do.

And I dont know... dont know which side is right...

but I have listened to some people tell me

they have waited such a long time for something..

 they say two days is such a long time...

but I have waited five years for this

and now something has gone terrible wrong.

You say that you know what I mean..

but that's impossible..

I was so damned close

but now its gone and I dont know what to do...

 

      I have these moments sometimes where the presence of My former Master is soo close it is like his spirit has reached out and gently touched my face. I miss him like breathing half the time.. and the other half the time I can see nothing but his face everywhere I turn. The apartment seams cramped all of a sudden, the city too close.. I feel a wanderlust coming on but I do not have the money to hire someone to escort me to  Thassa to take that trip to saite it. I wish I could find something to take the pain away. Something... someone.. who knows. Sometimes I think slavery is the answer.. I mean at least in the collar with the proper handling one feels like they have a reason or purpose.. here.. and now.. I feel as if I am hanging my ass out of a car window and waiting for something to snatch me out and take me away. God do I miss cars..