He knows...

He said it to me yesterday, " I know " but I don't know who, or what he was talking about. He could of been talking to Madeline.. because she was there too. Maybe he was even talking to Portia.. I am not sure.. there were alot of us around the man. At one point I was kneeling there beside him, and next thing I know his nails are pressing into my scalp.. and he is guiding my head down to his thigh. I wasnt sure what I did to cause it.. but then I was there. At one point his grip tightened.. I was in pain.. but I think I may have almost smiled. That was when he said it... I dont understand... maybe.. I will ask him some day. He tattooed Madeline again. On the tender side of each of her wrists are tiny red and black letters. One L and one S. It's amazing to me how much better she is under his steel. She's fuckin beautiful. I wish.. for five minutes I could feel like she does. I miss feeling that under control. I was in the den the other night. There were a few other slaves in attendance and I think even the Scribe and Madeline may of been present. I served him, Zeb. I went to his feet with a water skin and offered it to him. For the first time in I dont know how long he looked at me. I could feel his eyes on me.. and he commanded me not to move from the upstretched position of my serve. The leer of his gaze was intense... I thought for once.. he noticed me. A rented slave in his den. Soon after however I was sent off to serve and I moved away... he didnt feign any notice of me after. Perhaps if I begged his steel he would deam to pay me notice.. though I doubt it. I need to find control... the more it slips away... the worse I feel.. maybe that is what he knows..